Being-Becoming

This morning, I awoke and rose to a day into which I was awakened and raised. 

I expended unmeasurable amounts of energy to sustain three small people, my children, while other children were mourned from Palestine to Santa Fe in untimely death.

I pondered preschools for Oak as terror clenched my throat at the thought of sending my babies away to learning centers that could become slaughterhouses. 

I felt the privilege of getting to choose to live freely in the town where I was born, while millions of people could only protest their forced displacement from their homes. 

I read an article about time's non-existence, how we claim temporality as a way of reckoning with our illusory experience of reality, and felt the tension between that radical truth and the other radical truth that the past nor the future are understood to be our present, and that people die daily because we can't see.

I walked across newly-laid floors, fresh foundations in our home, as myriad beginnings are unfolding for our family and across the globe. What holds us up? Supports our movement? Is essential to what we stand for?

There is a field beyond Accepting and Striving, a sacred way that is an omnipresent temple doorway. It's the field of Being-Becoming. All that exists are Events in the universe occurring as elements coming together outside of our human conceptions of time and space. 

We are such an Event, now. But always now. Never not. When we can align our awareness to that Being-Becoming, we can feel in our bodies what we must do, and feel certain of the proper choice. 

When we let go of thoughts like "used to" or "another time," we see how implicated we are in all we perceive as occurring "before" or "after" us.

There is only one conversation, says adrienne marie brown, that can happen in the room with these people. Don't force another one. Your creation is a step to freedom for all. Your Being-Becoming is a liberating force - the OM, the I AM. 

So gaze into another's eyes as long as it feels right. Let your children take their sweet time saying good night to each other. Linger in the twilight, or don't. Hold vigil constantly. Taste your life. Drink your days. 

Even as fatigue grips the edges of your awareness, persist in your work until you finally feel you can sink into a sleep that, however broken, will restore you just enough for the next morning's endeavor, an Event alive in you now, which you fantasize you will learn of tomorrow.